When I was 8 I got my first diary. My cousin Tomas, who was in his twenties, gave it to me for the first communion. On the same day I got my very first analog camera from my beloved godparents. Other kids got expensive gifts like bikes, computers and other long awaited devices, so on Monday following the ceremony I remember being a bit embarrassed at school for not being able to brag about extraordinary gifts. But when I was home alone I played with what I got! I took pictures on happy moments and I wrote away my sadness with the help of the notebook with a lock. I kept there all the words I’d not dare tell to my parents nor my best friends. That diary was my confidant and a shield from the outer world.

And now, when I am older, I wonder how these adults were capable of reaching that sweet little girl that I was and give something that was tailor made to fit the soul perfectly. How could they know what I loved before even I knew it? I don’t remember ever saying “I want to become a writer” or “I’d love to photograph”. I was barely aware of such professions and let alone the tools that they’d use. So how did they come up with that 10/10, jackpot, bingo ideas? Did they observe me? Or maybe they got me something they’d like for themselves? Or did SOMETHING poke on their backs with an invisible wand of ancient wisdom spelling out the message “Please buy this for her” and they followed with open minds and hearts?

What was that SOMETHING? I am not sure but I am convinced it visited couple of times more. Even during my back-office or IT “career”,  in the I period when I hadn’t written for years, I received all sorts of notebooks and pens for every possible occasion – birthday, Xmas, first travel to San Francisco, finding a boyfriend, and dozen of other days. I smile to myself now, coz I’ve just understood, that I’ve been constantly under watch and reminded by various human messengers that I’m supposed to write.

And DEAR SOMETHING, although I don’t know what or who you are and where’re you’re coming from, but if you’re reading this, I would like to let you know that I’ve finally got it!!! I promise that I will keep on creating. And I thank all the messengers who were there to deliver your empty letters for me to write…


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