I received the first critical feedback regarding my work. It stroke me like a lightening and made me question the last couple of months I had so enthusiastically dedicated to creating. For a day or two I flooded myself with even more criticism and considered quitting the business.
In short it said: you make plenty of mistakes…you’r gramma is poor…it’s not going to be literature, a song maybe…you write in such different styles, maybe you should try something else…It came from a friend, a translator, a published poet, an artist – everything I want to be, so it had a strong impact on my little growing artist.
But then I fought back. It made me go deeper into why I write at all. In my head I said: my goal is not to be error-free but to make a point. My objective is not to join the portraits of Nobel Prize winners hanging on the wall in almost every school. The idea is to feed my soul through writing and if it feeds at least one more soul other than mine, then I’ll be thrilled with joy. Through writing I can play and experiment with the language, use it as clay to build a house where I feel comfortable and simply happy. Funnily enough some of the “errors” I make in poetry are intentional and emerge from the desire to translate my inner to the outer that is not yet named in English. Some are driven by the melody of a poem and made to rhyme. And there are probably many more which I am not aware of, but for the moment I gently do not care, I don’t want that the false friend of all artists — perfectionism — stops me from creating anything.
In fact, that criticism/opinion was nothing new to me, I have already thought of it myself. So I’ve decided to take it as a kind reminder and a hint on how I can make my writing even better. I can work on my vocabulary and study the dictionary. I can read more of other authors to expand my data base of language structure, metaphors, genres, styles, neologisms and everything that already exists in the written culture…I also chose to write even more as it is scientifically proven that people, who show up at the page everyday, end up creating better work that those waiting to be hit by an inspiration lorry carrying buckets of words. So, back in the business.